Mothers Leaving An Abusive Relationships Are In Shock

Mothers are leaving an abusive relationship and the abusive father are gaining custody of the children. The domestic violence manuals state that if there is a personal protection order in the case, the father is not allowed to have unsupervised visitations, let alone custody. What is truly happening is mothers are given supervised visitations and the fathers are given custody.

These mothers believe the family courts will protect them and their children. Personal Protection Orders (PPO) are obtained and quickly she realizes they are a joke. Judges rarely hold the abuser accountable for violating the order. After all, it’s just a piece of paper.

Imagine your abuser showing up for visitations and threatening to “beat your ass” or burn your car. You left the relationship so you and your children can be safe, but you and your children are not safe, and no one will help you.

You go to court and the visitation drop off and pick up changed to the police department parking lot. The verbal abuse and threats continue along with more made up allegations. Mothers get a statement from the police that they are present with the children, and the father has not shown up. The mother files a complaint with the FOC and a hearing is scheduled for a violation of the parenting time order. The father appears and then states the mother refuses to allow him to see his kids. The FOC and the judges get all kinds of creative. They place fines if a parent does not show up for the visitations, but the abuser is never held accountable. In fact, one father was fined $500 for missing visitations. The judge reserved the right to fine him and sent him to therapy. He never went to therapy and was never fined. 

The mother was frustrated for following the orders and the procedure, but nothing happened. She is seen as a vindictive mother.

The couple goes back into court and the father cries in court and states he just wants to see his kids. The judge gives him 10 visits a month with a 24-hour notice to the mother when he will be getting the children. The school does not even believe the mother and she must bring in the order that she is to follow. The couple goes back to the FOC for a meeting and the mother tells the caseworker that the father has not seen his kids in nine weeks, since the hearing when the order was put in place and he cried. She gasps and falls back in her chair. Does she do anything? Nope!

The mothers are to blame when anything goes wrong, and she can do nothing right. The court employees make the mother think she is not a good mother and she can never get justice, help, or protection.

When the abuser gains custody the mother is then given supervised visitations. She then asks, why was my abuse never given supervised visitations? The response is that it is believed she may try and run with the children. If you went through this craziness, would you run?

The courts obtain funds to run supervised programs. Most programs don’t follow their safety protocol, overstep the parent's boundaries, and they try to control them by using their children as pawns to get them to do what they want.  

These mothers turn to the courts for help and get revictimized again. The courts try to cover their tracks and make the mother think it is her fault what is happening. Nothing she does can be right and is found at fault while the abuser is noted and complimented as a “great dad.”

Guardian Ad Litems (GAL) are sitting on the Friend of The Court (FOC) domestic violence board but advocating for the abuser to gain custody. Most GALs are attorneys, but anyone can be a GAL. If you research these GAL, you will find them connected to money sources such as banks and other elected affiliations. Female judges, attorneys, and GALs are not taking on their spouse last names, so the connections are not easily noticed in the public eye.

The Violence Against Women Act is a front for others to obtain Federal funds and not have to report where the money is spent. Judges, prosecuting attorney’s, and law enforcement obtain these Federal funds when they sit on the boards at these businesses that provide shelter for women and children of domestic violence.

The access to justice programs by law schools is also part of the problem. A lot of these judges are professors at the college or donated a lot of money to these facilities. It is a conflict of interest for a student who is learning law to view a case and see that the laws are not being followed by the same judge that is teaching them the law. A college is not going to give up their funding to expose a judge that is not following the laws either.

To add fuel to the fire, a dog is more protected from an abusive father than their own children. Men will get jail time for hurting an animal, but fathers that hurt their children will go free.

Animals had rights way before children had rights. The little rights that children do have, they get from animals. Women don’t trust domestic violence shelters anymore! They can’t trust judges, the FOC, GAL, attorney’s, or programs to help them obtain justice. The laws don’t protect children! So where can they get justice or even help?????

Can you imagine a mother who goes through something like this? Ever wonder how single mothers have trust issues and a hard time trusting men in relationships? They trust no courts, no agencies, no politicians, and no family members.

Mothers are committing suicide over this because they don’t realize that money is fueling the case.

Currently, there is a movement for 50/50 custody known as shared custody. The mothers and good advocates of domestic violence are refusing to agree! This would mean that mothers and their children would have to stay in the abuse when they are trying to obtain safety and get out. Until there is a law that will protect mothers and children from abuse, they will not agree to the terms. If shared parenting laws were passed, the money trail would either stop existing or would somehow have to change. Is shared custody a way for the corrupt in family court to get out of the mess they have created?

Advocates of domestic violence see the shared custody being another fail in the family court system and a smoke screen to making parents think they are making a change in the system when they are not. What do you think?

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