Shared Parenting Frustration And Situations

Everyone wants shared custody in their case thinking it will make life easier and each parent will get the same about of time with the children. Well, here are some things to know that parents are struggling with. 

When a parent decided to cheat the other parent.

A mother purchased clothes for her children and would send them to the father. The father went to a second-hand store and purchased clothes. He would keep mom’s good clothes and send the children home in the second-hand clothes.

When a parent takes a situation into their own hands and doesn’t talk with the other parent.

Dad did not like the jackets the children had. They were dirty and had tears in them, so he kept them and gave the kids heavy used sweaters to return home in. Mom had two new coats, but Christmas was coming soon, and they were a Christmas gift.

When an item is not returned, it can end up in court.

The children were asked to not take an expensive video game to the other parent’s house. The children sneaked the video game. The other parent kept the video game and refused to return it back to the other parent. The parent was fed up and filed a motion in court to obtain the video game they had purchased.

When the bills don’t get paid, the other parent suffers.

Mom had the kids all week and did not pay the daycare bill. When it was dad’s week for the kids, he had no daycare provider so he could attend work. He found a new provider at the end of the week. It was too late, dad lost his job.

When you are on assistance, you can’t have two cases in different counties.

When one parent is in one county and the other parent is in another county and you both need assistance, who gets the help and who does not. You can not have a case and the children listed on that case and the other parent has a case and the kids listed in their case. If both parents need to have help with assistance what will they do?

If a child is receiving therapy and the county is paying for it, therapy must be done in the same county or household. One parent having the children for one week and the other parent having the child for the next week is not going to work.

The other parent’s household is not adequate.

What do you do if the other parent is in an abusive relationship? You still must send your children to the parent’s home, but you know physical, mental, or verbal abuse is happening. Your child is telling you that they are afraid of the other parents significant other and see them hit their parent. The child tells you that they see the parent hitting the significant other.

The other parent could not pay their bills and they have no electricity, running water, or heat. Your child tells you there was no water, so they did not get a bath all week. You still must send your children to that parent’s home.

The other parent’s home may not be very clean. Their clothes may have stains, they need a bath, and their hair is greasy. If the other parents have animals the children come home with dog hair or cat hair all over them. Every time your child comes home from the other parents they have lice.

You took your child to the doctor’s and they need medication. You send the medication to the other parent, but they send the bottle back with only two pills missing when there should be seven missing.

Holidays can create an issue.

It is your week and Christmas Eve and Christmas falls on your day. You must give up one of your days during the week. It is your week and you want to go out of town for the entire week, but you must have the child to the other parent for the holiday.

It is the other parent’s week and you get the child on his/her birthday in the middle of the week. The other parent refused to let you pick up the child stating it is their week. Is this a parenting time violation and can the Friend of The Court even help with parenting makeup time? This would mean you would have to cut into the other parent’s week and add an extra week to your schedule.

One parent does not discipline the children.

The child goes to the other parent’s house and can do whatever they want and get candy and junk food to eat. They go out to fast food restaurants and just do as they please. At your house, the children are not given junk food and have chores. The children will talk about how much fun the other parent is and how you are no fun.

Think this doesn’t happen? Most of these situations happen in high conflict cases and are now happening in shared custody. So, all shared parenting did was nothing. Before shared parenting, the custodial parent did have the Friend of The Court to assist even though they usually did nothing, and their help failed. So, is the answer to have the FOC be given more power to resolve situations?  When you read Carol Rhodes Friend Of The Court, Enemy Of The Family maybe not!

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